Taking Out the Trash; Emotional Abuse

Dramatic change in one's life may come from the mere cessation of destructive behavior. Trust me, it can be much easier than the fake reality your abuser has created will allow you to believe. Their influence was so destructive that there was no other choice. What I am discovering is how as little as one month of no contact with that destructive influence has changed my life for the better. Even time away from them with minimal contact was a huge benefit. However, termination of all contact has produced immediate and shocking benefits. Negative responses from that stress were far more prevalent than I had thought. It has literally been decades since I have been this glad to be alive, and this motivated to survive. I can't recall feeling this refreshed and relaxed in 40 years. My immune system is incredibly strong, compared to a few months ago. Even physical wounds heal faster. I'm just much healthier, emotionally and physically. A trait of mine that I had completely forgotten about was how I liked to laugh and my sense of humor. I'm laughing and smiling again, a lot. It'd been so long since I had any humor or enjoyment. Everything was stifled, strictly regulated by my abusers.

A focused human spirit is a remarkable entity. It's stubbornness frustrates even the most intense attacks. There was a brief period of about 2-3 months where I had a version of Stockholm Syndrome and berated myself as disloyal and how I needed to try to return in some capacity to my previous "captors" to continue my support. Yeah, right. No more of that. *laughing*

It's incredible. I'll never go back. I have retained, despite my abusers' wishful thinking, all rights of my birth. I have some great ancestors and relatives. My abusers just made the choice to not be among them. They can't take my blood away from me. One weapon an abusive parent uses is that their blood is in your veins and you are the same as they are....another lie. Abusive parents make the choice to do what they do, just as the target can make the choice to escape.

I don't like posting personal stuff, but there could be someone reading who is still trapped. I think many are like I was, free to leave, but feeling obligated to stay. Obligated to what, being tortured for a lifetime?